Arctic Dogs (2019) Review by TreyVore
Arctic Dogs (2019)
Distributor: Lionsgate
Director: Aaron Woodley
Cast: Jeremy Renner (Swifty), Heidi Klum (Jade, Bertha), James Franco (Lemmy), John Cleese (Otto Von Walrus), Omar Sy (Leopold), Anjelica Hutson (Magda), Alec Baldwin (PB)
Runtime: 92 min.
MPAA Rating: PG (some mild action and rude humor)
This movie is about a small yet plucky Arctic Fox named Swifty who’s lifelong dream is to be a delivery courier for the Arctic Blast Delivery Service. His aspirations result in him learning of a plot by the villainous Otto Von Walrus, a supervillain who schemes to melt the polar ice caps. With the aid of his allies including PB the neurotic polar bear, Lemmy the scatterbrained albatross, Jade his mechanic love interest, a pair of conspiracy theorist otters named Leopold and Bertha and his grumpy boss Magda, can this unlikely team of heroes stop the villain and save the Arctic?
Before I start this review, I will say that hate is a strong emotion. When I first saw the trailer last year, I had a feeling that this movie was going to be absolute garbage. Why? Well, for starters, it’s from the same studio that made that abhorrent Norm of the North. Its director, Aaron Woodley, was last known for the 2016 dud Spark: A Space Tail. The writers of this movie were behind that overall-pretty bad Escape From Planet Earth and the unwanted Nut Job 2. Plus the top-billing of the all-star cast and the fact it was not initially screened for critics, along with the fact that the studio didn’t seem to have any faith in it as evidenced by the combined lack of marketing and the critics who did see it panned the hell out of it. I honestly was expecting this to be a completely horrible train wreck and with some Bile Fascination decided to see it for myself.
So now that I have seen it how do I feel about it?
Well, it’s not as bad as people are making it out to be, to be perfectly honest. Don’t get me wrong, it’s got some glaring flaws, but… it’s not an unholy abomination that the press leads us to think. Let’s get down to it.
I will start by saying as it is, the story is rather thin and seems to leap around between threads. Maybe there is something I’m just not seeing but the mood swaps around constantly and seems like some of its plot threads are only half-baked. The idea of Swifty wanting to be a sled dog feels like just another “passionate dreamer” story and doesn’t feel unique. It doesn’t seem to make very much sense about why a courier would be seen as a rock star to the residents of Taigasville; I know they’re living in an Arctic tundra but still one would think they are just doing their jobs.
It also uses a lot of clichés that make the movie feel like it’s just supposed to be very average film. You’ve probably seen stuff that this movie has done before and better. Thankfully the animation is fine as it is if a bit uninspired. While acceptable the humor also tends to be rather broad and not terribly funny.
So, that’s a few ideas of why it’s just a bit problematic; more organization was necessary. A unique voice was needed. The voice acting and animation are serviceable but nothing to write home about. The story has some fat that needed to be cut, as I personally thought the three characterized sled dogs were excessive and the movie probably would have been fine if they were something like fictional entities. The characters could stand to be fleshed out a bit more. There’s some questionable behavior that you would probably need to talk with your kids about, like why a secret handshake should not be a punch in the nose. With all that in mind, if you want my honest opinion?
…it really isn’t all that bad.
I know that despite that Thanos snap that it seems had occurred, remember that Swifty was being voiced by Jeremy Renner, who you probably know as Hawkeye in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. With that in mind, I’m going to play Dr. Banner, who you know was the one optimist despite the damage that took place. And remember, who was playing Bruce Banner, Mark Ruffalo? And where was his hometown again?
Despite my first complaints and all the problems that occurred behind the scenes, there is something more that I see. All the issues are just something that needed to be handled better.
Where to start? Well for one, let’s just say what Swifty is supposed to be, I can identify with mighty strongly. I am an Amazonian and it’s my job to help people get their stuff. I’ve been hoping to get a promotion. I never lost sight of what I love as a child. I love culture. I’ve been aspiring for fame, which probably why I do reviews like this one. I would jump at the chance of meeting a hot babe. Let’s just say that his plight hits pretty close to home.
In addition, there were some pre-production images that were leaked onto the web where it seems like the movie’s original plan was supposed to be the struggle against Otto Von Walrus as the centerpiece. Maybe this is just because I see so many superhero movies, but this really would have been amazing if that was the case. After all, I loved Zootopia and was bursting with happiness when it won the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature. Combine that with a comic book property like X-Men and… hot damn you got yourself a mega-blockbuster on your hands, it could have kicked Toy Story 4 and Frozen 2 to the curb.
For the characters, I found them pleasant, at the very least. As the villain, Otto Von Walrus has a posh British-styled voice courtesy of the ever-reliable John Cleese and he gives a good performance. He’s also got a set of Minion-wannabe henchmen called Puffins who are at least tolerable. Anjelica Hutson is clearly enjoying herself as the grouchy Soviet-accented caribou Magda. Alec Baldwin does fine if unexceptional as PB, Swifty’s best friend, he’s likely just supposed to be a straight character to Swifty being a funny character. Maybe this is just my adoration for culture talking, but I quite enjoyed the conspiracy theorist otters, Leopold and Bertha. Leopold is clearly French and Bertha I imagine is Heidi Klum doing a more exaggerated take on her natural voice. Clearly meant to be partners, I have some theories of my own on why these two are an appealing pair of surrogates. The only character I just did not like is Lemmy, as he just seems to be nothing more than a tool rather than a character.
There is also the factor of Swifty’s relationship with Jade that I found to be rather sweet. When the movie begins, Swifty’s just supposed to be a little boy that has hopes and dreams. Being that I need to understand how juvenile fiction is supposed to work that helps with the identifiability of the character. He also meets Jade as a little girl and they become friends. There’s then a series of storybook like images of their bonding before Jade goes off to continue her studies. She does return after and this is supposed to be a major change in their relationship. Due to her departure and eventual return, it changes their dynamic. Swifty would no longer see her as his childhood friend, but rather a potential lover. During a later bonding sequence Jade reveals she studied Spanish and Swifty’s response is “Oui oui” which we know is French. So, you have a male character that uses French, and the female character is also being voiced by Heidi Klum? Further evidence is when they hold hands and during the climax, kiss. Had the execution in various areas been better, I could just picture the fireworks going off. After all, look at what it did for Simba and Nala in The Lion King.
I know it just sounds like I’m reading an awful lot, but I love to try to put serious thought into writing. I provides food for thought and I may challenge your thought process; after all the movie may have bombed horribly but the question is whether or not it continues to live on. There are movies that fail at the box office but continue to live on regardless. At the same time there are movies that make $300-400 million but no one cares about them. Does it seem like I’m daring you to think differently? Sometimes, one man’s opinion… is all it takes.
For the execs at Lionsgate and Entertainment Studios: you have a potential gold mine with this movie. If you decided to give it a remake I would happily consider seeing it. Just put deeper investment and care in the film and let the creative process flow and well, do I need to remind you of the fact that Disney really scored with Zootopia, and studios are laughing all the way to the bank with comic book hero adaptations? The potential is there, it just needs love and it will succeed. The phone call of potential awesome on the line. Will you except the charges?
Distributor: Lionsgate
Director: Aaron Woodley
Cast: Jeremy Renner (Swifty), Heidi Klum (Jade, Bertha), James Franco (Lemmy), John Cleese (Otto Von Walrus), Omar Sy (Leopold), Anjelica Hutson (Magda), Alec Baldwin (PB)
Runtime: 92 min.
MPAA Rating: PG (some mild action and rude humor)
This movie is about a small yet plucky Arctic Fox named Swifty who’s lifelong dream is to be a delivery courier for the Arctic Blast Delivery Service. His aspirations result in him learning of a plot by the villainous Otto Von Walrus, a supervillain who schemes to melt the polar ice caps. With the aid of his allies including PB the neurotic polar bear, Lemmy the scatterbrained albatross, Jade his mechanic love interest, a pair of conspiracy theorist otters named Leopold and Bertha and his grumpy boss Magda, can this unlikely team of heroes stop the villain and save the Arctic?
Before I start this review, I will say that hate is a strong emotion. When I first saw the trailer last year, I had a feeling that this movie was going to be absolute garbage. Why? Well, for starters, it’s from the same studio that made that abhorrent Norm of the North. Its director, Aaron Woodley, was last known for the 2016 dud Spark: A Space Tail. The writers of this movie were behind that overall-pretty bad Escape From Planet Earth and the unwanted Nut Job 2. Plus the top-billing of the all-star cast and the fact it was not initially screened for critics, along with the fact that the studio didn’t seem to have any faith in it as evidenced by the combined lack of marketing and the critics who did see it panned the hell out of it. I honestly was expecting this to be a completely horrible train wreck and with some Bile Fascination decided to see it for myself.
So now that I have seen it how do I feel about it?
Well, it’s not as bad as people are making it out to be, to be perfectly honest. Don’t get me wrong, it’s got some glaring flaws, but… it’s not an unholy abomination that the press leads us to think. Let’s get down to it.
I will start by saying as it is, the story is rather thin and seems to leap around between threads. Maybe there is something I’m just not seeing but the mood swaps around constantly and seems like some of its plot threads are only half-baked. The idea of Swifty wanting to be a sled dog feels like just another “passionate dreamer” story and doesn’t feel unique. It doesn’t seem to make very much sense about why a courier would be seen as a rock star to the residents of Taigasville; I know they’re living in an Arctic tundra but still one would think they are just doing their jobs.
It also uses a lot of clichés that make the movie feel like it’s just supposed to be very average film. You’ve probably seen stuff that this movie has done before and better. Thankfully the animation is fine as it is if a bit uninspired. While acceptable the humor also tends to be rather broad and not terribly funny.
So, that’s a few ideas of why it’s just a bit problematic; more organization was necessary. A unique voice was needed. The voice acting and animation are serviceable but nothing to write home about. The story has some fat that needed to be cut, as I personally thought the three characterized sled dogs were excessive and the movie probably would have been fine if they were something like fictional entities. The characters could stand to be fleshed out a bit more. There’s some questionable behavior that you would probably need to talk with your kids about, like why a secret handshake should not be a punch in the nose. With all that in mind, if you want my honest opinion?
…it really isn’t all that bad.
I know that despite that Thanos snap that it seems had occurred, remember that Swifty was being voiced by Jeremy Renner, who you probably know as Hawkeye in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. With that in mind, I’m going to play Dr. Banner, who you know was the one optimist despite the damage that took place. And remember, who was playing Bruce Banner, Mark Ruffalo? And where was his hometown again?
Despite my first complaints and all the problems that occurred behind the scenes, there is something more that I see. All the issues are just something that needed to be handled better.
Where to start? Well for one, let’s just say what Swifty is supposed to be, I can identify with mighty strongly. I am an Amazonian and it’s my job to help people get their stuff. I’ve been hoping to get a promotion. I never lost sight of what I love as a child. I love culture. I’ve been aspiring for fame, which probably why I do reviews like this one. I would jump at the chance of meeting a hot babe. Let’s just say that his plight hits pretty close to home.
In addition, there were some pre-production images that were leaked onto the web where it seems like the movie’s original plan was supposed to be the struggle against Otto Von Walrus as the centerpiece. Maybe this is just because I see so many superhero movies, but this really would have been amazing if that was the case. After all, I loved Zootopia and was bursting with happiness when it won the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature. Combine that with a comic book property like X-Men and… hot damn you got yourself a mega-blockbuster on your hands, it could have kicked Toy Story 4 and Frozen 2 to the curb.
For the characters, I found them pleasant, at the very least. As the villain, Otto Von Walrus has a posh British-styled voice courtesy of the ever-reliable John Cleese and he gives a good performance. He’s also got a set of Minion-wannabe henchmen called Puffins who are at least tolerable. Anjelica Hutson is clearly enjoying herself as the grouchy Soviet-accented caribou Magda. Alec Baldwin does fine if unexceptional as PB, Swifty’s best friend, he’s likely just supposed to be a straight character to Swifty being a funny character. Maybe this is just my adoration for culture talking, but I quite enjoyed the conspiracy theorist otters, Leopold and Bertha. Leopold is clearly French and Bertha I imagine is Heidi Klum doing a more exaggerated take on her natural voice. Clearly meant to be partners, I have some theories of my own on why these two are an appealing pair of surrogates. The only character I just did not like is Lemmy, as he just seems to be nothing more than a tool rather than a character.
There is also the factor of Swifty’s relationship with Jade that I found to be rather sweet. When the movie begins, Swifty’s just supposed to be a little boy that has hopes and dreams. Being that I need to understand how juvenile fiction is supposed to work that helps with the identifiability of the character. He also meets Jade as a little girl and they become friends. There’s then a series of storybook like images of their bonding before Jade goes off to continue her studies. She does return after and this is supposed to be a major change in their relationship. Due to her departure and eventual return, it changes their dynamic. Swifty would no longer see her as his childhood friend, but rather a potential lover. During a later bonding sequence Jade reveals she studied Spanish and Swifty’s response is “Oui oui” which we know is French. So, you have a male character that uses French, and the female character is also being voiced by Heidi Klum? Further evidence is when they hold hands and during the climax, kiss. Had the execution in various areas been better, I could just picture the fireworks going off. After all, look at what it did for Simba and Nala in The Lion King.
I know it just sounds like I’m reading an awful lot, but I love to try to put serious thought into writing. I provides food for thought and I may challenge your thought process; after all the movie may have bombed horribly but the question is whether or not it continues to live on. There are movies that fail at the box office but continue to live on regardless. At the same time there are movies that make $300-400 million but no one cares about them. Does it seem like I’m daring you to think differently? Sometimes, one man’s opinion… is all it takes.
For the execs at Lionsgate and Entertainment Studios: you have a potential gold mine with this movie. If you decided to give it a remake I would happily consider seeing it. Just put deeper investment and care in the film and let the creative process flow and well, do I need to remind you of the fact that Disney really scored with Zootopia, and studios are laughing all the way to the bank with comic book hero adaptations? The potential is there, it just needs love and it will succeed. The phone call of potential awesome on the line. Will you except the charges?
Update: my claims were taken seriously, and now the team at ILBE is turning this movie into a franchise!
Arctic Dogs (2019)
TreyVore rates it: B- - Pretty Good!
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